Comment

Comment by Sharon Bell on September 30, 2010 at 11:01am

Really? All that banter about how I am looking for "Mr. Chocolate Bar," or am proclaiming 'woe is me." or even better, "there is no way to comment without calling her an idiot." and now, when I keep it real, and it's so OBVIOUS that I am just looking out for the best interest of my child, no one has a word to say?! REALLY? Svn Seven? Tammi Paulette Greene? Honestly, you really are a disgrace, all of you are so caught up in the fact the my skin color is white, or maybe just jealous that I have an african american beautiful mixed baby, that you cannot get past your own insecurities. So much for being positive roll models in the african american community. It's really a crying shame. I bet you all pretend to be good christian folk too?
As far as 'woe is me?' seems like you are the only one's crying out, 'woe is me." In fact I am so grateful that I have a God that looks out for me in so many ways. I feel so special that I get tangible presents from the Lord Jesus everyday. I will pray for you, all that have commented and probably many others that still support racism is the year 2010.
I will leave this post, for others to read, and hopefully touch. Perhaps the next time they see a mixed child the african american community will reach out.
I will not use this Urban Lifestyles again, to post a different perspective. Obviously you are not ready. I will also inform all my friends, black, white, yellow, purple, green, blue, red, what type of ridiculousness that I have encountered from your magazine. I will continue to write, and reach out to other african american communities that I hope will help my daughter become all that she can be.
Sadly, I am sure I will encounter this type of criticism, racism, again. I just want you to know, that your crappy attitude will hardly stop me!
Lastly, Thanks to Chris Smith for being a believer, keeping it real, and Believing in the Holy Spirit.
I will pray for everyone, and hope that there will come a day where it is NOT a Race Thing!

Comment by Chris Smith on September 27, 2010 at 8:56am

Sharon, I was just being obedient to The Holy Spirit, In the name of The Lord JESUS Christ, by faith with action because faith without works is dead, Amen. I'm also an African-American or black male here in the United States of America, and I don't know my father because I only saw him once in my life, and I don't know too much about him or his family tree. I believe and know that The Holy Spirit has broken those genrational curses off of my life, In the name of The Lord JESUS Christ, which will not invade my two sons life. That's been confirmed because as a divorced parent, I have been Blessed to know my sons and my sons know me, and they are living with me as I write this to you, Amen. True family, friends, and Love ones is what you and your daughter needs, and whomever doesn't want to spend with you and your daughter, let them keep on keeping on because the True family, friends, and Love ones that you and your daughter are Blessed ar e the ones who needs and deserve you and your daughter's attention and company.

Comment by Sharon Bell on September 26, 2010 at 8:18am

@Chris Smith. Your post has me crying.

Comment by Chris Smith on September 26, 2010 at 8:14am

Sharon,

you are right, it is a black thing, yet, don't take it personally because it really isn't about you. It is a generational curse thing for the African-American race in the United States of America. Many African-Americans or black males never had or have their fathers living under the same roof with them, and he may or may not even spend any time with his son(s). Many African-Americans or black fathers living today never had their fathers living under the same roof with them, and didn't know or spend time with their fathers. Many African-American or black grandfathers living or not living today never had their fathers living under the same roof with them, and didn't know or spend time with their fathers. Many African-American or black greatgrandfathers living or not living today never had their fathers living under the same roof with them, and didn't know or spend time with their fathers. Pray to GOD The Father to end generational curses for your daughters father, In the name of The Lord JESUS Christ, Amen.

Comment by Sharon Bell on September 26, 2010 at 8:11am

Wow! I knew I would get some comments when I posted this but never thought like this! While I tried to leave some details out, to protect privacy, some facts need to be explained.

First and foremost, I am most certainly NOT looking for 'Mr. chocolate bar', but thanks for making me laugh! It happens that I fell in love with an african american. As stated, my first husband was white, and I do mean white. About as hillibilly as they come. You can say I went the complete opposite the second time around. On a side note, it's very typical of aa women to automatically go to 'the white women are taking all our black men.' How bout if he's purple? Would that make you mad too? Cuz I like purple men too!
Second, Yes, I lived in Long Beach with my soon to be ex. Originally from Orange County, Ca. specifically Newport Beach. I am educated & come from an upper middle class family. It was a fluke that I met the man I did. At the time, I considered it to be God's will.
I have since moved back to Newport Beach. I moved back because I needed the support of my family. Something all recently seperated single mothers often seek out.
The man I am speaking of, while african american has a disease that plague's many, black, white, yellow, whatever. Which is why I didn't mention it to begin with. He walked out because he preferred to use drugs rather then have his family around. As most people do with this disease he took everything with him. His color has nothing to do with it, he's sick and needs help. period.
I STARTED A BUSINESS for what I thought was for us. When he left he took the business and all the proceeds with him. We are partners (rather I ran the business, all office work, bookkeeping, etc) he had his ONE job. I did everything else. The checks happened to come in his name, so when he left, he took all the money with him.
So, no, while i had no idea about social services, I have had to do a lot of research and find out very quickly. Now I know. I am also a Navy Veteren and the V.A. in long Beach prevented myself and my daughter from literally living on the street.
I have filed court documents, which will help me get child support, but will not help me claim the part of the business that I own as well. This took a lot of research to find out how to file papers so that I can get my fair share. Again, since he has the money I cannot pay an attorney up front. Another obstacle I am dealing with.
So yes, it seems I choose men that have addiction issues. I thought I was careful the second time around taking 12 years in between spouses. Apparently I was not careful enough. I never mentioned it before because I do not feel addiction chooses race.
I chose Urban Lifestlyes magazine to post, because as stated. My daughter is around too many white people! It's that simple. She is surrounded by successful people. She attends one of the top schools IN THE NATION. Everyone around her male/female, have graduated college, live in nice homes, and have successful lives.
But I ASK YOU THIS....Do you think she is not going to notice one day that they are all white? It is my job as a mother to ensure that she sees success in the african american community as well. Otherwise, there will come a day when she either gets teased, 'for talking too white.' whatever that means, or anything! She's already asking me to "make her hair flat" so she can look like Molly!
Keep it real! There are many differences between my Sicilian culture and the african american one. How bout cooking? I didn't even know what greens were until I met my husband. I'm supposed to send my daughter into the world not knowing how to cook greens? That's just one, very simplied difference. As I stated, I want her to see success in all colors-svn seven- and if im an idiot for that, well then call me an idiot. Seems you could use a little self reflection.
Lastly, I ask for positive MALE role models, beacuse it is a proven fact that little girls who are abandoned by their fathers often seek out men who are abusive, or unhealthy for them as young adults. While my daughter may only be four, I am trying to plan ahead to offer her the most healthy, successful life she cn possible have!
On a personal note, Really? It's so typical of african amercian women to think ill of the white women. Honestly it's 2010. Like many of you, I am just trying to be the best mother I can be. That's real. I'm so pissed reading all your comments. My original question was a legitimate one. I really don't know any white men that just walk away from their kids. And I know a lot of divorcees. Many in the aa community are constatnly talking about how the white man is out to get them. I'm trying to embrace this culture, or find a way for my aa daughter to embrace it and y'all are talking sh*t? Really?

Comment by URBAN LYFESTYLES MAGAZINE on September 25, 2010 at 8:35pm

Rodney Nave
I have 2 laugh @ Tammie's comment...but sadly Mz KimiRhochelle..."abandonment" plagues "Our" AA Communities due 2 lack of knowledge..4 I'm sure that if an "AA" had sufficient means 2 provide...He not only would step through with an "entour...age" of "Bathsheeba's"...but He would adorn his child with gifts...not of an excuse...but the "AA" communities have more "challenges" than the other ethnicity..."LeRoy still face challenges back when"...Only knows of "Street Knowledge" and not "City Knowledge" that connects...The other ethnicity "Abandon's" from greed...similar 2 the movie "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"...

Comment by URBAN LYFESTYLES MAGAZINE on September 25, 2010 at 8:33pm

HERE ARE SOME COMMENTS FROM FB.... GOOD BAD OR INDIFFERENT...
there is no way to comment without calling her an idiot ~svn seven

KimiRhochelle Porter y


KimiRhochelle Porter perhaps in her culture.. the men just dont leave.. so this is unusual for her..
about an hour ago ·

Svn Seven when people are in pain, they exaggerate... it is clear she exaggerates which means any direction addressing her blog is negated simply by her posting it again without comments attached

KimiRhochelle Porter i dont understand.. she wrote a blog on my social network site.. i shared it throughout various networks which then resends to some of the same networks..where she exaggerates or not.. there is an issue that her women does not know how or where to take her bi-racial children..strange as it maybe..

Svn Seven did you notice the lack of comments? it's a genius move for you. you think i might leave a relevant comment? want me to? ~svn seven

KimiRhochelle Porter well i just posted it and left a comment but the comment is on my site... so i am sure she will get some others.. and yes i do want you to comment.. she is obviously seeking help...

Svn Seven ‎:-D then let the hellfire begin! :-D ~svn seven

KimiRhochelle Porter lol...c... a call for help... and a brother wants to fire her up...instead of giving positive empowerment... svn...

Tammie Paulette Greene
If she has, or is in the system she is well aware of all of the social services, in her area. If she was involved with a black man/family, I am quite sure she knows.
SITTING ON THE PISS POT,AND PLAYING THE GAME OF WOE ME!!!
YES, KIM YOU DID G...IVE HER SOME LEADS, BUT SHE NEEDS TO CONTACT, UNITED WAY..

Svn Seven you can't call me crazy and imply i'm worthless then say oops ~svn seven

Rodney Nave
I only inquire "Y" is it that the hereditary disease of "abandonment" is constantly evaluated within the "African American" communities when we as a society all know that the "Law of Abandonment" reigned no supremacy in "Slavery"...No matt...er what the child's ethnic background may have consist of..."Harriet Tubman" sought only "Education" despite the suppression of a child acknowledging "The Biological Parent" is no longer present...I never read in History's Pages that letters were written that "due 2 lack of funds"...."LeRoy can't B President"....we all shall face "oppositions"...and wish that things could B more convient...but 2 focus on what was "Law"...."Abandonment"...it's hard 2 say who is at fault when the "Blood" of those "Ancestor" transits throughout the veins of "OUR YOUTH" of "2day's Society" unfortunatedly in the "African American Communities..

KimiRhochelle Porter
‎@tammie... lol... i guess i am just seeing that she does not know where to get her kids involved with black organizations... perhaps the lyfestyles they had were not in a lack community.. the only involvement were his family... he took the... lead... now he's gone and this is what she is trying to do.. reach out for help... i remember when my father died.. my mom did not know how to write a check.. my father took care of everything with the finances... so it is possible.. we had to literally take her down to banks and places ...social security offices... she just did not know...

KimiRhochelle Porter ‎@ svn.. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND VALUE YOUR OPINION THAT is why i said state your opinion...

KimiRhochelle Porter ‎@rodney i think that is what i asked her what is her real question..is abandonment only a race thing in the aa communities.. or is it a race thing because she might not get the support she thinks she needs because she has bi-racial kids.. no one on either side is assisting her... surely... abandonment IS NOT ONLY AN AA THING... IS IT?

Tammie Paulette Greene
HONESTLY. She is still seeking out a man, and a black one @ that.
QUOTE>>>"ANY COMMENT ON HOW TO FIND A POSITIVE ROLE MODEL IN THE AFRICAN AMERICAN COMMUNITY ( ESPECIALLY MALE) WOULD BE GREAT TO"...
COME ON NOW!!!
If she has a four year old d...aughter, what does she need a male role model for??? OH, ok a WHAT??? A father figure...mmmm!!

KimiRhochelle Porter
‎@tammy... perhaps..BUT...young babies and girls do need a positive male role model... in there lives... young ladies that grow up without their father.. especially if the father is around and chooses not to be part of the childs life.. run... to any guy later in life and at times to rebel against their absence father.. i know.. my youngest did.. AND ..even though SHE HAD GOD DADS THAT SEE HER AS THEIR DAUGHTER... she still had anger inside...so while she could be just seeking mr chocolate bar.. that still does not eliminate the needs of her daughter..

Tammie Paulette Greene ‎@ KIM, this is not the fist time, she has been left ,abandoned , divorced , yadda, yadda, yadda, She has been in the "HEAD POSITION" several times.

Tammie Paulette Greene MR. CHOCOLATE!!! 2 CUTE... LOL!!!

Comment by URBAN LYFESTYLES MAGAZINE on September 25, 2010 at 6:50pm

ok...you live in long beach... contact the african american black chamber of commerce in your area... ask them for businesses and other organizations where you kids can be a part of.. through mentorship, internships, boys and girls scouts in various areas that are muli-cultural... also, call rich wallace 909-771-7561it think that is his new number.. he is over the so. ca. blk chamber and can give you direct numbers of people to call... also, there is the 100 black men organization.. they have a chapter in your area.. call them... they would be wonderful.. i am going to get various resources and add the to this site for people to call as they need.. give me a minute though.. but at least.. you have some starting points.. and know its not because you are while... many black women are single women because the aa fathers have left, died or imprison...

Comment by URBAN LYFESTYLES MAGAZINE on September 25, 2010 at 6:44pm

hi, while i am not sure if you are asking if this issues that are occurring in your life are only among the African American race and no other race OR is it a race thing that bi-racial children with single causian (Sicilian) mothers have an issue due to the bi-racial children and where the children fit in at.. the african american side or the non african american side.. as a single mom... i myself am bi-racial my children have african american fathers... both were not in the picture... the male figure.. whether white, black or in between ..as mentors could have had a great role in there lives and help me to raise positive children...i can not say if in other races the fathers just leave... i do know that there are high statistics that show in the african american race... its high... however.. there are other statistics that show many fathers ... while separated from the moms.. have a part in their kids lives.... i did not go to see where you live but i would reach out to various organizations that help children of all race to be better in college, jobs, self discipline... those key ingredients can be instilled and really if it comes from a non-black person... who cares if the children are good and have persons to go and talk to... please tell me where you live... so i can refer you to some wonderful organizations..